Day 2

 The majority of yesterday was spent acclimating to remote learning and resting (for me).  The evening brought a little dose of reality.  Tommy had an on-line meeting from 6-7pm (aka worst time ever).  Luckily, we had Mrs. Gus' lasagna in the oven for dinner.  But the evening routine screeched to a halt.  

I tried to Facetime with the kids while we ate dinner from my room.  The video kept glitching out and proved to be more of an exercise in frustration than anything else.  I called Jack and instructed each of the kids what needed to be done to get ready for their days tomorrow and to help around the house via speaker phone.  Frankly, it is exhausting to parent via speaker phone.  Through much fault of my own as a mom who does not always follow through to make sure my directives are completed- I am seeing that the kids need A LOT of guidance to complete requested tasks.  

Tommy did not have a shining evening.  Not sure what is going on with him, but he's less than helpful and showing a really irresponsible side.  I am so disappointed with it- probably a topic for a longer post another time on another blog.  But for now, it is leaving me feeling really lonely, angry, worried and generally stressed.  

Patrick had a really tough night last night, too.  He gets emotional in the evenings when he is tired.  He visited my door several times to ask why he couldn't hug me.  It was heart-breaking.  I cannot imagine how moms feel that have to be isolated in a hospital away from their kids.  I am lucky to be in the house with mine and am trying to tell them that, but Pat is struggling.  

The schedule with the dog is a mess.  I take care of the dog with one hand while I do everything else with the other hand.  I barely think about it, but it gets done.  When the kids are in and out of Winnie's area, they aren't in tune with her and her needs get ignored.  Part of my stress today was listening to Winnie yelp and cry when she was locked out on the screened in porch for being 'bad' or forgotten outside.  She simply does not behave that way when I am around and it is because I attend to her.  

Last night, I was up until after 2:30am.  I watched 2 full seasons of Schitt's Creek.  

This morning I decided that since I slept with Patrick the night before I got tested, I am considering him 'exposed'.  He needs to have me around, so I am going to be out and about today.  I am wearing my mask and sitting out on the screened in porch with all the doors open.  It is BEAUTIFUL outside today.  Winnie has been by my side all day and I have access to cable tv, so I feel connected to the real world. 

I have been touch with so many people today.  I talked to my Auntie Di and my mom.  Claire dropped donuts to us this morning.  Bryan Ahern, Ann-Marie Ahern, Cathy Kearnery, Shannon Scott, Sarah Lorek, Kathleen Singleton, Ryan Dubiel, Trishie Dubiel-so many people have reached out.  It seems silly but it is helping me so much with feeling lonely. I thanked Amy OLinn for Nola's sweet delivery yesterday and she and I texted for a while today too.  They are so wonderful.  

  Things I am noticing- the number of leaf blowers in our neighborhood is astounding.  Pretty much, from the hours of 9am-6pm, there is at least one, if not a harmony of blower going at a time.  The life flight helicopter at Fairview is getting as much action as the leaf blowers- at least 5 flights today.  

In summary, today was great in some respects- but without the real practical/ sincere help from Tommy, there's a new element of stress going on in my head.  We will be ok.  It is just a little steeper of a climb to parent the kiddos during remote learning while trying to keep distance and sanitize.